


In Your Greatest Need

by ChristineThalassinou1990



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crying, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Padawan Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristineThalassinou1990/pseuds/ChristineThalassinou1990
Summary: Takes place between JA 16 & 17.Qui-Gon's absolutely shattered. Obi-Wan tries to help.





	In Your Greatest Need

Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't need their mental bond to know that his master was little more than an emotional disaster right now; like he'd been in the last more or less two months.

The first two weeks or so was the worst after Tahl's death, with Qui-Gon barely even coming out of his room and not willing to talk at all. He didn't really care about Obi-Wan, either, who felt alone and awful and would've given anything to help his master to feel at least a bit better. Then he just couldn't take it anymore and snapped.

One night, when he woke up alone and scared for the umpteenth time, Obi-Wan sneaked into his master's room and snuggled next to him in his bed. At first Qui-Gon didn't react except for curling up even further, but when Obi-Wan drew closer, hugging him tight from behind, something apparently snapped in him as well, for a few struggling moments later he broke down, eventually crying himself to sleep in his Padawan's arms.

Since then, the situation _had been_ a bit better, they slept together more often than not, Qui-Gon cried himself to sleep more often than not, and he didn't turn down Obi-Wan's offers of kindness and comfort; however, he didn't seek them out, either. He accepted Obi-Wan's presence but didn't ask for it himself, and it hurt his Padawan, however hard he tried to oppress this feeling.

"You should find someone else..." Qui-Gon muttered when Obi-Wan brought him a cup of his favourite tea. "Don't waste your time on me."

Obi-Wan would've jumped out of his skin with joy, for that was the longest speech he'd heard from Qui-Gon in the last two months, but the meaning of these sentences made his blood run cold.

"Why do you say that?" he asked as he sat down on Qui-Gon's bed, facing his master, who was sitting in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest and was completely unwilling to look up at his Padawan.

Qui-Gon didn't look well, that much was clear for Obi-Wan even without seeing his face; his long hair concealed it almost completely. Now this beautiful mane was clean, for in the last few weeks Obi-Wan could make Qui-Gon bath and shave more or less regularly, but it was in a much worse shape at the beginning of this whole mess. His long-sleeved T-shirt and sweatpants, which he used as a pyjama, couldn't hide that he was too thin; eating had been a constant issue in the last two months. In Qui-Gon's case, depression and malnourishment walked hand in hand.

"Why would you want me to leave you?" Obi-Wan asked again when no answer came to his first question; however, he had to try really hard to hide the shake in his voice.

"Because that's the only thing that would make any sense in all of this..." Qui-Gon whispered, his voice almost unrecognizable by disuse and too much crying.

"What do you mean?" Obi-Wan pushed away his own pain in the hope of getting Qui-Gon talk about his feelings; it had proved to be impossible until now.

"Just... you should find someone else" came the hopeless reply.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and sat closer to his master, tugging his hair gently to make him look up finally.

"I don't have the slightest intention to do so" he said, not being able to hide his sadness anymore. "You were with me when I was at my lowest, why shouldn't I do the same? Or you really don't want me to be here?"

If that was even possible, Qui-Gon looked more miserable than ever, his despair so thick in the air that it was almost choking. Obi-Wan needed all of his shielding skills not to drown in it.

"I do... I want you to be here. But it would be unfair..."

"Why do you think that?" Obi-Wan's patience grew thin, but he wanted answers, especially to the question of how he could help to make all of this better.

It was painful for both of them, but Qui-Gon took it extremely badly; Obi-Wan wouldn't have ever believed it if someone had just told him about Qui-Gon's current state. He thought his master was too strong to break down like this. Still, it happened, and he had to find a way out of this.

"Fair or not, I won't leave you" Obi-Wan said when Qui-Gon again didn't answer his question. "You know what would be truly unfair? Leaving you alone when you need me the most. And I'm absolutely unwilling to do this."

Obi-Wan's heart broke when he saw the tears in his master's eyes and not having any better idea, he hugged Qui-Gon tight, struggling with his own sadness.

"Please, master... I want to help, but I don't know how. And I'm afraid I'm not enough... And I don't want to lose you! I need you... Please don't send me away...!"

Before he could even realize what was happening, Obi-Wan was sobbing into his master's shoulder, desperate and scared like the teen he was; and a few moments later he felt Qui-Gon hugging him back, holding him close and stroking his back slowly.

"Don't worry, little one... I'm too selfish to let you go. I couldn't survive losing you as well" Qui-Gon admitted, trying to choke back his own tears, with limited success.

"You won't lose me, ever" Obi-Wan promised, wiping his face with the sleeve of his tunic. "I'll always be there when you need me."

"Thank you, little one..."

Obi-Wan knew very well that the road to recovery was long and hard, but he was sure that together they could make it.

 

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Don't be the Jedi Council. Depression isn't a joke, and it needs treatment. Ask for help, it can save lives!


End file.
